Mastering the Room

Ten Essential Social Skills for Men.

Being socially capable is an absolutely essential skill for any man. Having sharp social skills won’t only help you meet more people and build lasting friendships, but it’s also a powerful tool that will give you a competitive advantage in everything you do. From climbing the professional ladder to being able to serve other people better and on a larger scale, mastering the ins and outs of social interaction will make you more capable to understand, relate to, and lead people, which will increase the opportunities that you have access to, and drastically increase your chances of success.

The good news is that it’s not really that difficult to be very good socially, and to become a man who’s liked, respected, and who masters every room he’s in. Here’s my top ten tips to develop excellent social skills that will take you from being awkward and insecure to being confident and master any room that you walk into:

10. Shift Your Energy Outwards

Most people who struggle socially do so because they focus way too much on themselves and on how others are perceiving them. This leads to overthinking, anxiety, and an obsession with every little thing you do which could be perceived as awkward. The first thing you need to do if you want to master social situations is to shift your energy outwards.

I promise that no one is paying that much attention to you, no one is keeping tabs on your every move so they can laugh about it later. Instead of thinking about yourself so much, just learn the art of observing: look at what other people are doing, look at the venue you’re in, look at their interactions. This is not to judge them, but simply so you can get out of your head and focus your energy on what’s actually going on instead of on yourself. This will allow you to act more naturally and to stop overthinking everything.

9. Be Genuinely Interested

This is a very simple thing you can do that will make you significantly more successful in social situations. It sounds obvious but it really isn’t, as most people fake being interested just so they can then find a way to talk about themselves. Ask questions, listen to their answers, be genuinely interested in hearing their stories. People love to be around others who make them feel heard and interesting.

8. Speak With Passion and Conviction

Most men nowadays are incredibly anaesthetised by the soulcrushing average modern lifestyle, and that just leads to them being sources of gray, dull, and boring conversations. The man who speaks with passion, conviction, and fire is a man who stands out instantly. People are desperate for a little bit of passion and excitement, and you can be the man that ignites that within them, by being passionate about the things you do and about who you are, and by communicating that to whoever you talk to by letting that passion show in the way you communicate.

7. Don’t Overstay Your Welcome

This is a basic principle of education, but one that most people either ignore or simply don’t practice. You don’t want to be the guy who’s always the last one to leave. That might’ve been “cool” back in high school, but not anymore. That just shows you have nothing else going for you. Learn the art of leaving at the right time. When in doubt, this is usually early.. Not simply because this has the psychological effect of making you scarce and thus more valuable, but also out of simple respect for your host. There’s few things more annoying than the guy who just won’t leave.