A quality book that may help those who are in the fight or looking for further help is Andrew Williams' 'From Object to Icon: The Struggle for Vision in a Pornographic World'. Williams' thesis is that we can address the deeper and spiritual cause of porn consumption by shifting one's view of people: To go from seeing them as objects of lust and fantasy to seeing them as beloved icons (image) of God. He offers a clear and developed view from an Eastern Orthodox Christian perspective.
Thanks for the recommendation brother. I think that's also a key mindset shift that helps quit. Seeing others as also made in the image of God. Appreciate the advice, it definitely complements the protocol 👊🏻
this is the best article I’ve seen on this topic. The only other thing that I would really stress is learning to redirect your energy to other things. It’s a lot easier to fall into this sin when you aren’t keeping yourself busy with something. When you aren’t doing the things you know you should be, the temptation will creep in because you aren’t directing the energy towards fulfilling righteous tasks. There is almost never an instance where the temptation will arise when you’ve done all that you should be doing throughout the day.
Thank you brother!! Really appreciate that. And I agree 100%, I should've probably added that too, or expanded on the last step, in which I mention you should stay busy 👊🏻
That's it, you need to direct that energy towards more productive endeavors. My pleasure brother, as mentioned, I have a genuine interest in helping men quit this. Won't ever ask for money for anything related to this topic!
The best method that I have found helps people quit porn is the “ easy peasy method “. It's free and you can listen to the audio book on YouTube or read the pdf file online. It's the only way that truly helped me get rid of it.
Appreciate you taking the time to address what is now the most widespread addiction amongst men. Really well written and the content is needed.
Although I’m a Protestant Christian, the recommendations you made from a Catholic perspective resonate, have their analog across denominations and hey, we’re all Gods children, so it’s good manna.
Because porn is an addiction, getting a girlfriend a wife or having a family will not prevent or stop the addiction. Those are outside influences and addiction is from the inside of us. How many men do we know that sneak a drink or smoke? Porn is no different.
The other thing I’ll mention is it will never easier to quit than NOW. The more images we stack inside our powerful minds, more it will work against us to relapse. Your recommends on getting temptations out of the way are so valuable there.
Lastly, just want to reiterate that getting an accountability partner who is not your girlfriend or wife is key. Women can’t comprehend fully the addiction and we need a bother to talk truth and hold us truly accountable.
Thanks for the kind words and support my brother in Christ!
I absolutely agree with your recommendations too, and furthermore I think this addiction should ideally be fixed BEFORE one marries. It’s very much a risk to enter into a relationship while addicted to p*rn, you’ll probably just end up harming your marriage and spouse. And having men to talk to and support you while going through the cleansing process is key. Thanks for reading brother, God bless you!
I'm preparing for marriage this year and I cannot overemphasize how much pornography has hindered my ability to love my fiancé well. It has been a battle since I was 8 years old and it's something that I've overcome by degrees. I'm 22 now.
I recommend reading "In Defense of Purity" by Dietrich Von Hildebrand and his book "The Sacred Heart". These have been invaluable in helping me see how porn has stifled my ability to be tender and attentive to the emotions of women and how sin hardens our hearts and blinds us to truth, beauty and goodness.
Thanks Simple Man for putting this together. I need the reminder from time to time not to look back, like Lots wife.
God is with you brother! Whatever you do, don’t lose hope. Thanks for the book recommendation and for reading and supporting. Will keep you in my prayers!
One good method to get rid of this is to get married and have as many kids as you can. As soon as that happens, your time is directed towards others and leaves no space.
Also might help, but sadly not enough IMO. Many men stay addicted to p*rn well into marriage and fatherhood, which just completely destroys their marriage.
I read a book called “Not a Fan” in 2020. It was about being a follower rather than a fan of Jesus. After that I vowed to quit porn. A few slip ups since then, but for the most part I have left it behind. Don’t miss it either.
In addition to your steps of learning how evil the sex industry is and regular confession, I pass along a strategy given to me by my Catholic psychologist:
-at the place where and time of day or night when you are most vulnerable to the temptation, kneel and pray three Hail Marys to our Holy Mother Mary, asking for her to purify your heart.
I did that every night for a little over half a year, and still use it these days (though less often), and I have been free of the 'addiction' mindset for several years now. The temptation still arises from time to time, but I am much more aware of it and am able to ask God to enter into the temptation with me and strengthen me to seek higher goods, not momentary pleasures.
Smart man. Probably not enough for most people considering how deep rooted this addiction generally is, but definitely a helpful habit to help combat it.
Thank you for your article, you've suggested many good strategies, especially cultivating a prayer life and seeing the evil of pornography for what it is. It's always encouraging and inspiring to know that there are other men fighting the good fight. I am grateful to say that I started on my path to freedom one year ago and I use many of the strategies that you suggested.
My advice for those who struggle is to find an accountability partner and/or mentor. Forming a band of brothers to support each other as we're on this journey can be an effective advantage. It is extremely difficuly to do this alone (For those of you who have found freedom alone, I commend you). Isolation and shame is the devil's main strategy to keep us in the dark.
I've found that Covenant Eyes is a good resource for accountability.
Other resources that I found helpful are the works of Christopher West and Jason Evert. As well as the early works of Matt Fradd (Strive21). These are all men who overcame their sexual sin.
God bless you, brothers. Know that you are all in my prayers.
Thank you for the kind words and support brother, and thanks for sharing those resources. I've heard a lot about Christopher West but I'll admit I haven't read any of his work yet. I also agree with the accountability and the need for brotherhood to help fight these battles.
Good article. One thing often missed from this conversation is that porn addiction is tethered to adolescence for so many. A wide array of men who exhibit later stage porn addiction are not just battling with the addiction per se, but an arrested development. This is critical to address.
I affirm these ideas as a retired therapist with extensive experience in this area. However, I fear they will miss some fundamental issues. Behind the curtain, there are typically Root Causes that need to be removed. As we often say, 'Out of the Root Comes the Fruit!' One root cause is anger at a female figure that is never expressed or confessed.
Think of this formula. AB = C+D
Addictive Behavior Equals Compulsions Plus Dependency.
Compulsions arise from inner pain of guilt and shame. Shame is the most significant source of pain, and Westerners do not know the difference between shame and guilt.
We currently equip small groups and co creations with the skills and virtues carefully designed to allow every member to openly share their insights, fears, and faith! It turns groups into powerful healing centers!
A quality book that may help those who are in the fight or looking for further help is Andrew Williams' 'From Object to Icon: The Struggle for Vision in a Pornographic World'. Williams' thesis is that we can address the deeper and spiritual cause of porn consumption by shifting one's view of people: To go from seeing them as objects of lust and fantasy to seeing them as beloved icons (image) of God. He offers a clear and developed view from an Eastern Orthodox Christian perspective.
Thanks for the recommendation brother. I think that's also a key mindset shift that helps quit. Seeing others as also made in the image of God. Appreciate the advice, it definitely complements the protocol 👊🏻
this is the best article I’ve seen on this topic. The only other thing that I would really stress is learning to redirect your energy to other things. It’s a lot easier to fall into this sin when you aren’t keeping yourself busy with something. When you aren’t doing the things you know you should be, the temptation will creep in because you aren’t directing the energy towards fulfilling righteous tasks. There is almost never an instance where the temptation will arise when you’ve done all that you should be doing throughout the day.
Thank you brother!! Really appreciate that. And I agree 100%, I should've probably added that too, or expanded on the last step, in which I mention you should stay busy 👊🏻
My advice is, as in previous comment, to always be busy, spiritually, mentally and physically.
When I am not working, I am either learning or working on my side business, toward achieving a full online income and replacing my normal job.
Also, big respect to Simple Man for keeping this free and not asking for $$$$ .
That's it, you need to direct that energy towards more productive endeavors. My pleasure brother, as mentioned, I have a genuine interest in helping men quit this. Won't ever ask for money for anything related to this topic!
The best method that I have found helps people quit porn is the “ easy peasy method “. It's free and you can listen to the audio book on YouTube or read the pdf file online. It's the only way that truly helped me get rid of it.
Hadn't heard of it but thank you for sharing it!
It's been two weeks since I came across this comment and read the book. It's still early, but thank you. Thank you so so much.
Appreciate you taking the time to address what is now the most widespread addiction amongst men. Really well written and the content is needed.
Although I’m a Protestant Christian, the recommendations you made from a Catholic perspective resonate, have their analog across denominations and hey, we’re all Gods children, so it’s good manna.
Because porn is an addiction, getting a girlfriend a wife or having a family will not prevent or stop the addiction. Those are outside influences and addiction is from the inside of us. How many men do we know that sneak a drink or smoke? Porn is no different.
The other thing I’ll mention is it will never easier to quit than NOW. The more images we stack inside our powerful minds, more it will work against us to relapse. Your recommends on getting temptations out of the way are so valuable there.
Lastly, just want to reiterate that getting an accountability partner who is not your girlfriend or wife is key. Women can’t comprehend fully the addiction and we need a bother to talk truth and hold us truly accountable.
Thank you again for this. Be blessed. ✌🏼
Thanks for the kind words and support my brother in Christ!
I absolutely agree with your recommendations too, and furthermore I think this addiction should ideally be fixed BEFORE one marries. It’s very much a risk to enter into a relationship while addicted to p*rn, you’ll probably just end up harming your marriage and spouse. And having men to talk to and support you while going through the cleansing process is key. Thanks for reading brother, God bless you!
That’s right on. Best to crush that demon beforehand. Thank you again for your content. Merry Christmas!
I'm preparing for marriage this year and I cannot overemphasize how much pornography has hindered my ability to love my fiancé well. It has been a battle since I was 8 years old and it's something that I've overcome by degrees. I'm 22 now.
I recommend reading "In Defense of Purity" by Dietrich Von Hildebrand and his book "The Sacred Heart". These have been invaluable in helping me see how porn has stifled my ability to be tender and attentive to the emotions of women and how sin hardens our hearts and blinds us to truth, beauty and goodness.
Thanks Simple Man for putting this together. I need the reminder from time to time not to look back, like Lots wife.
Please pray for me, brothers!
God is with you brother! Whatever you do, don’t lose hope. Thanks for the book recommendation and for reading and supporting. Will keep you in my prayers!
One good method to get rid of this is to get married and have as many kids as you can. As soon as that happens, your time is directed towards others and leaves no space.
Also might help, but sadly not enough IMO. Many men stay addicted to p*rn well into marriage and fatherhood, which just completely destroys their marriage.
It warms my heart to think of you men out there, fighting the power of that serpent. You can do it!
Thank you Maria! 🙏🏼
This is amazing.
Thanks!
I read a book called “Not a Fan” in 2020. It was about being a follower rather than a fan of Jesus. After that I vowed to quit porn. A few slip ups since then, but for the most part I have left it behind. Don’t miss it either.
Hadn't heard of that one. I like the concept. Glad you could rid yourself of that filth brother. God bless you!!
In addition to your steps of learning how evil the sex industry is and regular confession, I pass along a strategy given to me by my Catholic psychologist:
-at the place where and time of day or night when you are most vulnerable to the temptation, kneel and pray three Hail Marys to our Holy Mother Mary, asking for her to purify your heart.
I did that every night for a little over half a year, and still use it these days (though less often), and I have been free of the 'addiction' mindset for several years now. The temptation still arises from time to time, but I am much more aware of it and am able to ask God to enter into the temptation with me and strengthen me to seek higher goods, not momentary pleasures.
Excellent addition brother. Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I know a guy that fought his addiction by going to the gym, working out, meal prep, or planning his exercise whenever it crossed his mind.
Smart man. Probably not enough for most people considering how deep rooted this addiction generally is, but definitely a helpful habit to help combat it.
Thank you for your article, you've suggested many good strategies, especially cultivating a prayer life and seeing the evil of pornography for what it is. It's always encouraging and inspiring to know that there are other men fighting the good fight. I am grateful to say that I started on my path to freedom one year ago and I use many of the strategies that you suggested.
My advice for those who struggle is to find an accountability partner and/or mentor. Forming a band of brothers to support each other as we're on this journey can be an effective advantage. It is extremely difficuly to do this alone (For those of you who have found freedom alone, I commend you). Isolation and shame is the devil's main strategy to keep us in the dark.
I've found that Covenant Eyes is a good resource for accountability.
Other resources that I found helpful are the works of Christopher West and Jason Evert. As well as the early works of Matt Fradd (Strive21). These are all men who overcame their sexual sin.
God bless you, brothers. Know that you are all in my prayers.
Viva Christo Rey
Thank you for the kind words and support brother, and thanks for sharing those resources. I've heard a lot about Christopher West but I'll admit I haven't read any of his work yet. I also agree with the accountability and the need for brotherhood to help fight these battles.
God bless you too brother!
Please pray for me.
Good article. One thing often missed from this conversation is that porn addiction is tethered to adolescence for so many. A wide array of men who exhibit later stage porn addiction are not just battling with the addiction per se, but an arrested development. This is critical to address.
I affirm these ideas as a retired therapist with extensive experience in this area. However, I fear they will miss some fundamental issues. Behind the curtain, there are typically Root Causes that need to be removed. As we often say, 'Out of the Root Comes the Fruit!' One root cause is anger at a female figure that is never expressed or confessed.
Think of this formula. AB = C+D
Addictive Behavior Equals Compulsions Plus Dependency.
Compulsions arise from inner pain of guilt and shame. Shame is the most significant source of pain, and Westerners do not know the difference between shame and guilt.
We currently equip small groups and co creations with the skills and virtues carefully designed to allow every member to openly share their insights, fears, and faith! It turns groups into powerful healing centers!