The Key to Defeating Effeminacy

How to truly beat emasculation, weakness, and softness of character.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
— 1 Corinthians 16:13

Over the last couple of years, we’ve been bombarded by claims that “toxic masculinity” is the greatest enemy of mankind. Every problem is said to be a consequence of “outdated, toxic masculinity”. But if that were the case, everything should be fixed by now, because most modern men are anything but masculine.

If masculinity —because “toxic masculinity” is not a real thing— is to blame for our problems, then the lack of it would fix them. That hasn’t been the case. On the contrary, as men become weaker and softer, society degenerates even more rapidly.

The real plague of our time is effeminacy. Not only on a societal level, but also and more specifically, within Christian circles. We’ve bought the lie that Christian men are passive and soft, and the average Christian is now closer to Ned Flanders than he is to Christ.

Great saints like St. Paul would look at us and feel righteous anger. The Christian man, throughout history, has been a man of integrity, discipline, sacrifice, and fortitude. The crisis of our faith is in no small part caused by the fact that most men have become terribly soft, overly attached to pleasure and comfort, and unwilling to do the hard things required to develop a strong and mature masculinity.

Not everything is lost though. Slowly, we’re starting to realize that the lack of masculinity is not desirable at all —contrary to what the feminist-led culture of the previous decades tried to claim. There’s now a growing trend of Christian men promoting masculinity, and trying to get men of faith to reclaim their spines.

Look no further than

Matt Fradd

‘s recent article talking precisely about this topic, or one of my old articles in which I also attempted to explain why effeminacy is so prevalent in our times. It’s good to see there’s an ongoing conversation about this, especially within the Church —a lot of Catholic writers, like Matt and myself, have recognized the problem of effeminacy.

In this article, my goal is to add my two cents to the conversation of effeminacy, and provide you with what I believe is the key to defeating effeminacy as a man in 2025. This article will be practical and applicable, and give you direct advice on how to combat this plague.

If you want a more detailed breakdown of what effeminacy is, I recommend you check out

Matt Fradd

's article or my own, both linked right here:

Effeminacy, Not 'Toxic Masculinity,' Is the Problem

This Is Making You Effeminate

Like I said, in this article I will give you practical advice to combat effeminacy, by first sharing what I believe to be the key to defeating effeminacy. Unless you truly internalize this, it will be difficult to defeat effeminacy and grow into a virtuous, masculine man.

The Key to Defeating Effeminacy

Effeminacy, as St. Thomas Aquinas defines it, is the vice that is opposite of the virtue of perseverance, namely, “when a man is ready to forsake a good on account of difficulties which he cannot endure.” St Thomas continues and explains: “This is what we understand by effeminacy, because a thing is said to be ‘soft’ if it readily yields to the touch.” St Thomas also describes effeminacy as a reluctance to suffer due to an attachment to pleasure.
— From my article: This is Making You Effeminate

“A reluctance to suffer”. That’s what effeminacy is, simply put. It’s the disordered attachment to comfort and pleasure that keeps you from doing the difficult things that being a Christian man demands. In that sense, defeating this vice is simple: