The New Rite of Passage Into Manhood
You won't become a man just by aging. But you still need to make yourself a man, or you'll remain forever a boy.
What We’ve Lost Over the Years
It was not too long ago that a boy becoming a man was but a logical, inevitable process. Some years back, the very structure of a man’s life made it so that it was impossible for him to remain a boy once he got older. Men throughout history have been literally forced to do away with their innocence and face the tough realities of life as a man. Wars, famine, crisis and death were prevalent in the entire world until very recently, and that meant that men had no choice but to step up into their roles as leaders and bringers of order.
Aside from the very natural way in which a riskier world unapologetically introduced a boy into masculinity, some years ago, in the west, we completely forgot that a boy may never become a man, and that stepping up into the masculine role is not something that just happens. A boy must be introduced into masculinity: this can either be through crisis and troubles as the ones mentioned above, which isn’t ideal, or through an intentional process guided by a wiser, older man who can teach a young boy what it means to be a man.
Both methods of transition into manhood are now almost completely gone: the newer generations —mine included— have no recollection of tough times, since we’ve been born into incredible abundance and privilege (so much so that we have enough time and energy to invent petty, fake problems, since we haven’t faced real ones). As a result, we’ve collectively forgotten the fact that tough times eventually come, and that when that happens, the world will need men, not boys. The second method of bringing men into their masculinity is disappearing quickly as well: exclusively male groups are removing all gender restrictions to be “inclusive”, sexual degeneracy and atheism are leading to more and more men growing up without fathers, communities are breaking apart, male friendships are frail or non-existent, and masculinity is being attacked from all fronts.
It’s no wonder men are remaining boys forever. Hooked to childish games and TV shows. Living in fantasyland. Idolizing fictional characters and sports teams. Perpetual spectators that never enter the arena but sit on the sidelines consuming, jerking off, and rotting.
A boy doesn’t naturally become a man. He must, through struggle, risk, and discipline, make himself into one. And most of us need to face the fact that we won’t be introduced into masculinity and will have to do it ourselves. The good news is that this is not as difficult as it sounds, and there’s one thing in particular that you can do right now, one decision you can make, to start leaving behind your childish innocence and start walking the path towards real manhood.
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