10 Silent Killers of Masculinity

These are emasculating you.

There are some sins and vices which are easy to recognize, due to their extravagant nature: the addiction to pornography or substances, childish attachments, or lack of emotional self-control, are all examples of flaws which express themselves loudly, making it very easy to acknowledge them and attack them.

However, a mistake many of us make is that we notice those extravagant sins, fight and defeat them, and then think our journey towards virtue is complete.

But most of the things that emasculate us in the modern world aren’t so easy to spot, and they require a thorough examination of our character before we can shine light upon them and thus have the possibility to fix them.

Think of these as hidden integrity “leaks”, that slowly erode your character, peeling you, layer by layer, and weakening your character and resolve, eventually destroying your masculinity altogether.

These are sins that do not break you and crush you instantly —like some others do—, but rather behaviors that sneak into the depths of your psyche silently, and start to corrupt your character from the inside.

Without recognizing these silent killers of masculinity, it will be very difficult to make consistent progress on the road to virtue:

10. Gossiping

Gossiping is a behavior that goes against masculinity because it’s judgmental and prideful. When a man engages in gossip, he’s switching his focus from his responsibilities and problems to the flaws of others, very often so he can feel superior to them.

Gossiping also damages a person’s good name and reputation, which goes directly against the virtues of justice and charity.

All in all, gossiping is a behavior that goes against the prudence and temperance required from a man, as well as against the virtues of humility, justice, and charity. As men striving for moral excellence and a virtuous character, it’s important to recognize how gossip goes directly against a multitude of virtues.

Engaging in slander of another person’s good name to “fit in”, have “fun”, or feel better about yourself is something that will slowly forge in you an uncharitable, prideful character.

9. Isolation

There’s been a very harmful archetype which has spread all over the internet for years now: the “lone-wolf” or “sigma” persona. Men all over the world have fallen for the lie —usually pushed by movies—, that it’s “cool” to be a rogue, misunderstood loner.

While I understand the appeal of the mysterious, rogue outlaw archetype, especially in a world that is as backwards as ours, I believe it’s a big problem to isolate oneself needlessly, and doing so will make it very hard to forge real masculinity and progress on the climb towards virtue.

Man was not made to be alone. It’s not merely about the necessity of human companionship, it’s also about the fact that a man cannot fully develop his character and sharpen his skills without a counterpart.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
— Proverbs 27:17

Keeping struggles to yourself under the guise of “independence” cuts you off from the sharpening, accountability, and brotherhood that our hearts desperately need.

8. Moral Neutrality

This one doesn’t require a long explanation: moral neutrality is quite often nothing more than rebranded cowardice. Those who fail to take a stand usually do so because they lack a clear moral code, and thus avoid the hassle of choosing a side altogether.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.
— Dante Alighieri

I tend to agree with Dante on this one.

Staying neutral on small matters which are clearly of good vs. evil or right vs. wrong will slowly erode your character and turn you into a complete coward, to the point where when the big issues come, you will be completely unable to summon the bravery required to take a stand and fight for the side of good.

7. Indecision

This is a big one nowadays. With the rise of individualism and relativism, we are now told that all that matters is our own gratification. After internalizing that lie, we start shunning all commitment, in relationships, in careers, and in everything else.

Why would we ever commit to something when all that matters is fulfilling our base desires and “experience” new things?

After this fear of commitment follows indecision: with so many choices, very often we prefer to choose nothing at all. We become perpetually distracted and aimless, jumping from one stimuli to the next, unable to set a true course and follow it.

Distracted by shiny objects and convinced that indecision is freedom, we let the influences of the world sway us from side to side (see point #4), never choosing, never walking forward towards something meaningful.

This failure to commit leaves us weak and aimless, eroding the necessary virtue of purposeful leadership that is a tenet of masculinity.