The Best Protocol For Quitting P*rn

A step by step guide.

I know so many young men who, even after doing their best to quit, are still incapable of removing p0rnography from their lives. I think this is one of the most prominent sins of our time¹, a tool the devil has used to poison the hearts of many, to keep men emasculated, weak and powerless.

It’s really something that pains me to see, because I do believe that it’s basically impossible to move forward significantly in your spiritual journey if you’re still addicted to this vice. I see quitting p0rn as the new “rite of passage” that young men need to go through to leave childhood behind and mature into the men they could be.

As men, we need a high degree of self-control. We need to be able to control our lower faculties and impulses, so we can walk the narrow path without deviating and lead others down the road of virtue. A man who’s still controlled by his impulses and lower faculties is a man who hasn’t yet fully developed, and thus behaves like a boy. This is no problem when you’re also a boy in age, but it’s a great tragedy to grow old in years and remain a child inside.

I’ll give you in this article the best protocol I know to help you quit this evil vice, as clearly as I possibly can.

Before I share it with you, and for full disclosure: I thought about making this article paid, since I am 100% sure it could’ve brought in a ton of new paid subscribers. However, I genuinely don’t want to paywall a topic that I know is such a big pain for so many men. I have seen in the men close to me the grip of this vice and this battle is a cause that I hold close to my heart.

So I decided to make this article free, in the hopes that it can help as many young men as possible. Not only that, but I also promise you that whenever I talk about defeating lust and quitting p0rnography, it will always be free. I could paywall articles around this topic and get a lot of new paid subscribers but I won’t, because I honestly do want to help men quit this filth.

This blog is how I make a living though, so all I ask from you in return is that if you find value in this article or in my work in general, you consider upgrading your subscription. It’s only $5/month or $50/year for you to get access to all the articles, the full archive, and all the other premium benefits. This is affordable for nearly everyone, and it helps me massively to keep growing this publication and reinvest into this project.

Without further ado, here’s the protocol:

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Step by Step Protocol To Quitting Porn

Step 1: See It For What It Is

The first step towards defeating this vice is to gain awareness as to how terrible it actually is. Many men never quit because they either don’t see the need to or they know on some level that it’s bad, but remain willfully blind to the deep darkness of p0rnography so they can keep watching it somewhat guilt free.

I might be strong and offensive in my statements here. It might hurt a bit to read this. But that’s the point. P0rn deserves to be exposed clearly and explicitly for the demonic evil that it is, and you deserve to know exactly how it’s hurting you.

The goal in this first step is to make it impossible for you to hide behind ignorance —willful or otherwise—, and make it impossible for you to justify any usage of p0rn. The first step of this protocol is to make you aware, fully aware, of how evil and dark this habit is. Because once you know the gravity of it, you will be more committed to trying to quit, you will make a bigger effort to purify your life from it, and you will feel the full weight of guilt whenever you fail to quit. It will be tough, it will be a struggle, but it’s a struggle you must go through to save your soul.

First, be honest and accept that it is NEVER acceptable to watch porn. Not once a month, nor once a year. Never. This will stop you from justifying your relapses because "they are not too frequent". It is possible to quit porn completely, and that is your goal.

Secondly, think about the act of watching porn. You're getting off watching an attractive woman have sex with a man who isn't you. Would you do the same if you were in a room with both of them? You're literally choosing to watch another man have sex with a woman you'd like to get with instead of talking to a real woman, developing a loving relationship with her, and marrying her. I want you to really think about it. Don’t hide behind justifications. See the thing for what it is, however shameful that might be. It’s a cuck activity. It’s the lowest of the low. How do you expect others to respect you when you do this?

Think about the men you look up to and think about what they’d think of you if they saw you doing this. Feel the weight of their disappointment. Let yourself recognize how humiliating of an activity it is. P0rn is literally designed to keep you emasculated, controlled by your lower faculties, depressed, lonely. That should make you angry. It’s an enemy who wants to destroy your soul, and you are letting him win.

Thirdly, the p0rn industry is one of the most demonic things there is. Young women, very often underage, are getting exploited, manipulated, their lives and souls destroyed. Young men too. You watching only serves to further promote this industry and contribute to the many terrible sins that are being committed by all people involved in this filth. You are an active participant in the destruction of the lives of men and women all over the world, you are contributing to the destruction of their purity and to the damnation of their souls. You need to realize this so you can do your very best to quit.

Not only that, but by watching p0rn you are also contributing to the cultural decline and to the degeneracy that is slowly consuming the modern world. You become a willing participant in the sodomy of postmodernity, help evil bring about even more cultural decay, and accelerate the destruction of beauty and purity in favor of the filthy and the degenerate.

Watching p0rn is a shameful, humiliating, filthy, emasculating, and plain evil habit. Do not hide from this. Do not try to justify the opposite. I promise you, accepting honestly how terrible it is will make it easier to quit.

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Step 2: Do a Thorough Clean Up

You need to eliminate all triggers. Social media is designed to show you content that will get your attention. Guess what kind of content gets the most male attention? Semi-nude attractive women. That's nothing less than softcore porn.

This content serves as a trigger. You want to completely rid your eyes and brain of nude and seminude women and of any possible trigger. Mark every single one of those posts with the "not interested" tag. This ensures that you don't get anything like that shown to you. You are probably not strong enough to stop the temptation once it starts creeping in, so don’t even give it an inch, and remove the triggers before you even see them.

Unfollow even female “friends” who you know but who post provocative content. This might sound extreme, and it is. But it’s your soul that’s at stake. Extreme measures are valid when the stakes are this high. Unsubscribe from any channels that post that kind of content too. Install content blockers on your computer and phone. Turn off your phone and leave it away when going to the bathroom or before sleeping, if it’s causing you to engage in this sin.

Create an environment where you won’t be constantly bombarded by softcore p0rnography, temptations, triggers, oversexualized content and provocative stuff.

Don’t just clean up your digital world. Clean up your actual environment too. Throw away movies, magazines, or even books that serve as triggers. Stop going to degenerate parties. Stop hanging out with people who lead you to temptation and sin.

Everything around you can either aid you in your pursuit of virtue, or hinder you. Again, extreme measures are in order here. It’s 100% worth losing those “friends” who constantly cause you to sin. You need to take this seriously and remove those influences from your life.

Also, stop drinking and consuming other drugs that disinhibit you. These push you down the slippery slope and cloud your judgement, and you need to remain clearheaded to fight and win this battle.

Make sure that your environment fosters purity and beauty instead of lust, temptation and sin. Be as extreme as you need to, it is 100% worth it.

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Step 3: Develop Incentives

Bargain with yourself and punish yourself if you fail. Develop a structure of incentives that promotes good behavior and punishes sinful one.

Only you know what kind of incentives will be more effective to you, but for example, you could punish yourself with cold showers whenever you relapse. Because this is a habit that we are trying to eliminate, I’ve found negative reinforcement to be more powerful than positive reinforcement.

If you do relapse, the next day, sacrifice something that you like. The punishment or sacrifice doesn’t need to be severe, but simply uncomfortable enough to guarantee you start associating lust with a negative consequence. Cold showers are an option, not watching sports or entertainment is another option. Fasting is great too. Make it uncomfortable for you to relapse.

Develop some fitting, uncomfortable punishments and make sure you have the necessary discipline and mental toughness to apply them if you fail.

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Step 4: Separate Your Identity From The Habit

Here’s where many fail: they start keeping count of the days they’ve been “porn-free”, which is just a terrible strategy, because it simply gives the habit too much importance.

Keeping count of something makes it important. It keeps it relevant. If you are constantly keeping count of the days you've been porn-free, you are telling your brain that this is massively important and extremely difficult.

So difficult that you have to keep track of the days! Every single day, you are thinking about the habit you are trying to quit. That will make it way harder on yourself.

You're also putting unnecessary pressure on yourself: if you were to relapse, you'd beat yourself down thinking "oh I have to start all over again".

Making it a "streak" and counting the days means that this is something temporary, and that you'll relapse and start all over again. It's not helpful.

This is NOT helpful for this habit. I promise you.

The correct mindset to have is to simply tell yourself, "I'm a guy who doesn't watch porn. It goes against my values, it is shameful and disgusting, and I don't even enjoy it."

If you look at it that way, I promise that it will be much easier to quit for good.

You'll have a firmer stand against it, because it becomes irrelevant, just some petty thing that you don't like, not something so important that you have to keep count of how many days you've managed to avoid it.

Separate your identity from the habit. Don’t let it have any mental space. Don’t speak about it, don’t think about it, don’t keep track of the days you haven’t done it. Forge a new identity through repetition, one that is completely separated from the habit you’re trying to quit.

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Step 5: Find Strength in God and Prayer

Lust is effectively combated through prayer too. Learn to rely not on your own strength but on God’s. Call on Jesus’s name whenever you feel temptation start to creep in and rebuke the devil in the name of Christ. Constantly turning to God through prayer strengthens the soul against temptations.

The prayer to St. Michael is helpful too:

“Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.”

Pope John Paul II recommends this prayer to obtain help in the battle against the forces of darkness.

Saint Michael defeating Satan, by Raphael

Additionally, have some short prayers and scripture verses memorized so you can repeat them in prayer when you need to combat intrusive thoughts, for example.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
— The Jesus Prayer

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
— Matthew 5:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
— Philippians 4:8

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
— Psalm 119:9-11

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
— James 4:7

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
— Galatians 5:16

Even if, as Christian men, we have to be strong and resistant to sin, it’s not wise to try and outsmart the devil. He’s a cheater, and he’s smarter than you. So the only protection we really have is Jesus and His Word.

For all my fellow Catholics, I also recommend to consecrate your life to Mary. Mary is the perfect example of purity and chastity, and she’s a great help in battling lust. She leads everyone to her Son and is the help of all Christians.

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Step 6: Fast, Pray, and Confess Frequently

Fasting is one of the most effective ways to control lust because by controlling the appetite for food, you also learn the self-control necessary to keep other bodily appetites —such as sexual desire— at bay. Controlling one lower appetite means controlling all other appetites, as they are correlated and require the same self-control “muscle”.

Fasting increases your physical hunger but also your spiritual hunger, and it reminds you of your flawed human nature, forcing you to be humble and thankful for God’s grace.

Prayer opens a direct communication channel with God. Ask Him to purify you. Here’s a prayer for purity:

Jesus, pour Thy Precious Blood over me, my body, mind, soul, and spirit; my conscious and sub-conscious; my intellect and will; my feelings, thoughts, emotions and passions; my words and actions; my vocation, my relationships, family, friends and possessions. Protect with Thy Precious Blood all other activities of my life. Lord I dedicate all of these things to Thee, and I acknowledge Thee as Lord and Master of all.

Mary, Immaculate Conception, pure and holy Virgin Mother of Our Lord Jesus Christ, draw each of us under Thy veil; guard me and shield me against all attacks and temptations that would violate the virtue of chastity.

Lord Jesus Christ, I beg Thee for the grace to remain guarded beneath the protective mantle of Mary, surrounded by the holy briar from which was taken the Holy Crown of Thorns, and saturated with Thy Precious Blood in the power of the Holy Spirit, with our Guardian Angels for the greater glory of the Father.

Amen.

As for confession, again, from a Catholic perspective, here’s how author and teacher Michael Pennock explains it in his book Questions from Seventh Period: Doc Pennock Answers Teen’s Questions on Life, Love, and the Catholic Faith:

Have you ever wondered how a worm gets inside of an apple? (...) Botanists tell us that the worm comes from the inside. (...) Sin is like the worm. It begins in the heart and works its way out of a person’s thoughts, words, and actions.

How do we Christians deal with sin (...)? He’s given us a great way to undo the damage of sin in our lives—the sacrament of Reconciliation. When we go to confession we are saying: “I want to be good—right now! I want to (...) bear good fruit for Christ. I want to get rid of sin that is disfiguring me.”

The sacrament of Penance (...) is Jesus’ gift to assure us of his forgiveness of our sins and lighten our hearts. Unless we confess our sins, they will continue to eat away at us. Sacramental confession is medicine to the soul. (...)

How often should you go to confession? (...) The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:
"Individual and integral confession of grave sins followed by absolution remains the only ordinary means of reconciliation with God and with the Church" (CCC, 1497).

(...) Strictly speaking, if we have not committed mortal sin, we don’t have to go to confession. But the Church recommends regular celebration (...) to grow in holiness by practicing the virtue of humility, (...) and fighting pride, the root of all sin.

Why go to confession?

• To experience Christ’s love firsthand. (...) Jesus forgave sin and continues to do so today through his Church (...): “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them...” (Jn 20:23).

• To tell the truth about ourselves. We all sin. (...) “If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins...” (1 Jn 1:8-9). (...) Naming our sins is a sign of contrition and true repentance. (...)

• To reconcile with others. Sin alienates a person from God, self, and others. (...) Confession acknowledges that we need to reconcile ourselves to God and the Christian community. (...)

• To grow in holiness. (...) The sacrament gives us a more sensitive conscience and teaches us to detest sin, resist mortal sin, and love virtue.

In my experience, the value of this sacrament cannot be understated: simply having the courage to speak out, name our sin, recognize we failed, and ask for forgiveness is an exercise in humility that is difficult to replicate outside of confession.

If you are not a Catholic, you might be inclined not to do this. But then again, confession is part of the method I’ve found to be most effective for me and others, so I encourage you to try. If what you’ve been doing so far hasn’t been working, maybe it’s worth trying something different.

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Step 7: Be Relentless, Stay Busy and Don’t Lose Hope

I recommend you also stay busy, both mentally and physically. It’s easier to relapse when you’re idle, bored, and full of energy. Train hard, to the point of exhaustion. Work hard too. Pray even harder. Get busy with productive activities, so that during the day you don’t have time or space for lustful thoughts, and at the end of the day you are actually tired and can go to sleep straight away.

Defeating lust is one of the most difficult battles we can fight today. It’s easier for some and more difficult for others, but do not expect to win this battle without having to fight. If you truly want to rid yourself of the addiction to p0rn, you need to be prepared to be relentless.

Maybe for you it’ll be easy to quit altogether, and never relapse. But if it’s not, do not be discouraged. Get back up and try again. The one thing you cannot do, under any circumstances, is lose heart and think it’s impossible to quit. You can quit, and you will quit, as long as you never lose hope and never stop striving for purity.

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Come back to this post as often as you need to, and if you’re a man who has successfully managed to quit p0rn use, drop a comment sharing your best advice for those who still struggle.

I want this article to be a massively valuable resource and serve as an open forum where we can share collective wisdom and help out those men who are doing their best to cut this demon out of their lives. Please share it too, to help it reach as many men as possible.

I hope this article helped you. Stick to the protocol and let me know how it goes.

God is with you, you are in my prayers, and surely too in the prayers of all the men who fight this battle alongside you.

May God bless you and keep you,

Simple Man

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1. https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/pornography-use-among-young-adults-in-the-united-states